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3 Ways to Form Healthy Patterns After Self-Sabotaging

When it comes to relationships and goals, we’re often told that we can only go as high as our circle. We must hold our friends close and our enemies closer. You know the adage; you are a direct reflection of your five closest friends. Well, what do you do when your relationships aren’t in alignment with your goals? When healthy patterns aren’t visible in your life? Furthermore, what do you do when those relationships are not ones you can easily sever? How can you identify whether your circle is holding you hostage from pursuing your goals?

Let’s identify some feelings that signal you’ve been negatively affected by your friends and family.

6 Symptoms of Self-Sabotage

  1. Guilt-you start feeling guilty about your next level every time you talk with them about it

  2. Doubt-you begin doubting and second guessing what you knew for certain before you spoke to them

  3. Fearful-you become afraid because you start considering all of the things that could go wrong as a result of listening to those harsh realities.

  4. Overwhelmed-you become overwhelmed with all the “what if’s” associated with the lack of support and the inner pulling to complete the task

  5. Unworthy-you begin to feel unworthy and incapable of pulling off the seemingly impossible thing because of the lack of support.

  6. Lack of Confidence-you develop a lack of confidence because you’ve allowed the voice of the people to speak louder than your inner voice.

Now let’s talk about some proactive ways to form healthy patterns and strengthen bonds. Our goal here is to keep your relationships intact.

Create healthy patterns and boundaries within yourself

Limit the information you desire to share. Keep it simple and strictly surface level. Use creative code words/phrases when they inquire about something. This creates inner humor which will alleviate the nervousness when withholding information. Here’s an example, “ What have you been up to?”, “Just trying to figure things out”. This is code for brainstorming.

Form a mastermind group

A mastermind group is a group of people who share things in common. It’s a collection of like-minded individuals who desire to achieve similar goals. Your mastermind group should be comprised of individuals outside of your friends and family. The beauty of a mastermind is that it can be virtual or local.

For example, they can be someone from your workplace or an influencer you follow on social media. Creating a mastermind allows you to grow and gain insight from those who share a common goal. The goal is to nurture the dream and gain the motivation you need to continue.

Schedule Time for Family and Friends

Setting aside time for your family and friends will eliminate the overwhelm. We all know that juggling friends and family can be hard. Especially, when you’re pursuing your  dreams. Using a color-coded calendar system will make this process flow. For example, Monday can be all about Mom day. Tuesday, can be all about tasks day, etc. This practice will also help you manage your time better. When you’re not spending time with your family, your focus should be on achieving your goals. But don’t forget to include a little self-care. Remember to give yourself permission to breathe.

Comments (2)

  1. Shantel says:

    These are some great tips. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Thank you for sharing these great tips Angela. Many more women need this info ❤

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