“Everything we do is driven by a desire to feel a certain way.” Danielle Laporte
So, you landed that perfect job after it took you six years of ridiculously expensive school to get qualified for it. You bought your dream house. You snuggle with a precious miracle baby at night and wake up next to a hunk who is everything on that infamous checklist titled “The One.” And even though you have everything you ever thought you wanted…. Somehow, you want more. Maybe you feel guilty for not appreciating what you have enough. You know how to set goals, and you’ve achieved them. You bury your longings and tell yourself to let life be enough for you.
Or, maybe you’re just starting out on this journey. You’re wondering how to go about mapping out your life. You’re wondering how to set goals and how to actually meet them.
How To Set Goals, Step One: Pinpoint Your Desired Feelings
In Danielle LaPorte’s contagious book, The Desire Map, she suggests there is a huge, significant, perfectly understandable reason you want more. It is simply this: nobody ever taught you how to connect with your deep, soul desires. Maybe your family mapped out a practical, logical plan for your life. Maybe your educational path took you farther away from that divine sparkle of creativity in your soul.
Whatever the reason, you don’t know how to connect to your core desired feelings. Until this moment you may not have even considered it was a thing. So before you file for divorce, consider a career overhaul, or sell all your possessions to get lost on the other side of the world — just wait. Everything you need is within you. Ninety-nine percent of the time we can create the life we want without a life overhaul. Most of the time, we just need to learn how to generate our desired feelings and, from there, how to set goals.
You only need to answer this one question: How do you really want to feel? Once you have clarity on this one thing, I promise everything else falls into place.
Step Two: Reflect
First, take some time to go within. Examine each of the goals you have already achieved and ask yourself: How did I think this job, husband, etc. was going to make me feel? This is a good way to connect with your core desired feelings. Maybe words like loved, a sense of belonging, security, safety, connection, self-expression, or creativity came to mind.
Step Three: Commit
Now that you know how you really want to feel, commit to three daily actions that will take you one baby step closer to feeling those things. For example, if you want to feel more love in your life, maybe commit to practicing extreme self-care or to giving away reckless love to one person every day.
Step Four: Take Action
Get ready for an exciting ride! When we take action-oriented steps towards how we want to feel our deepest longings, the path to fulfillment is never linear. New experiences, possibilities, and connections will open up, as if by magic. Be prepared to experience complete awe with how life suddenly seems to be cheering for you every step of the way. And isn’t that what we all really want? This is where every fulfilling life journey begins.