2022 is almost over, folks. Now that it’s late-fall, people are vowing to find love before the holidays roll around. Patio season and your summer fling have long come to a close. That means you’re back on the market for a new relationship. But if you’re looking for a meaningful connection, there’s a new dating term you should know about before diving headfirst into the dating scene. It’s called “prioridating”. Eharmony relationship expert, Laurel House, coined the new term. The idea is that you shouldn’t try to find a partner who meets a lengthy checklist of criteria. Instead, you should hone in on one specific quality that’s the most important to you. Prioridating is a simple concept, but it’ll revolutionize your dating life. So if you’re searching for a soul mate, there’s no time to waste. Let’s get right to it.
What is Prioridating?
When you go into the dating game with a fixed perception of who your future partner must be, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Not only that, but you’re also decreasing your batch of prospects. Meeting someone who ticks all of the boxes on a checklist is unrealistic. Rather than having a long list of “wants,” prioridating says you should go after one “need.” What is it that you value most in a partner? Maybe it’s something that was missing from your last relationship. Pinpoint the most important quality you want in a significant other – and make that your priority. It could be emotional security, honesty, a sense of adventure, or a high emotional IQ. According to House, “Determine that, and you WILL find and fulfill your need.”
How the Pandemic Changed the Way We Date
So where did this new dating trend stem from and why the sudden change? It’s no secret that priorities have shifted over the last couple of years (thanks COVID!). The key to finding love in this post-pandemic world is not finding a “10” on Tinder. Physical attraction simply isn’t cutting it in this “new norm.” These days, it’s out with the shallow desires and in with the deep, meaningful connections. It’s all about finding someone whose core traits align with yours. That’s the recipe for finding a healthy, committed relationship and your forever love. Prioridating, when done correctly, will help you do exactly that.
Keep This in Mind Before You Start
First things first. Your safety and being respected aren’t negotiable. Setting boundaries in your dating life is a must. Hopefully, this goes without saying. Fortunately, prioridating doesn’t mean settling for less or dropping your standards. It just means you’re dating people who are in alignment with your lifestyle. Anything on top of that is a bonus!
How to Start Prioridating to Find Love
To start, you have to go through a discovery process. But unless you know what your priority is, it won’t work. Start by making a list of your most important personal values. What are your primary ways of being? By process of elimination, determine what the single core value is that you can’t live without. What must you have in your life to experience fulfillment? This is your priority.
Surround Yourself With Like-Minded People
Once you find your priority, it must become your non-negotiable. Rule out anyone who isn’t in alignment (yes, even friendships!). Always be on the lookout for people who live their life in the same way. Whether you meet people through the apps, a bar, or you find yourself in a meet-cute at a cafe — the same concept applies. House explains:
“Whatever your one priority is, you must align with it. Your conversations, associations, thoughts, actions, attitude must all align with the Priority of being, feeling, experiencing, living that Priority.” If your priority is finding a partner who leads a healthy lifestyle, then make sure you’re living that core value yourself. Sign up at the gym or get
involved in your local fitness community. Heck, why not even give a dating app for fit singles a try, like Datefit? When you live and breathe your priority, you create a life that embodies it. The more you do this, the more likely you are to attract someone compatible.
Prioridating is the New Way to Get Your Needs Met
Remember, just because you meet someone who has that one quality doesn’t mean you’re going to fall in love and live happily ever after. You may still have to date around. However, you’ll weed out people whose priorities don’t align with yours. By prioridating, you’re setting yourself up to date people who you’re automatically more compatible with right from the start. It’s a win-win. Sure, casual dating is fun and all… But if you’re serious about finding love then it’s time to pack up your laundry list of criteria and find your priority. By honing in on what matters, you’ll attract someone who you want to stay with for the long haul. When you date people in alignment with your priority, you’ll have a better chance of getting your needs met and finding your forever person.
Kaeli is a lifestyle writer with a passion for healthy relationships and personal development. As a certified Matchmaker and Relationship Coach, she has grown herself into an expert in the dating industry. When she's not busy working away at her desk, she can be found spending time with her baby girl, at the gym, or playing with her two pitbulls. You can learn more about her on her website: www.