Stronger Together: The Power of Sisterhood

I wish everyone had this. That is what I was thinking as I sat in the famous Filomena’s Ristorante in Washington, DC, enjoying lunch. It wasn’t the amazing food or even the festive holiday decorations that stayed with me — it was the other guests at my table: my sisters. We laughed, shared food, snapped photos, bantered with our waiter, and talked about our hopes for the new year. In that moment, I felt a deep sense of gratitude and a desire to be fully present. It was a powerful reminder of the importance of sisterhood — of showing up for one another, sharing life’s moments, and finding strength, joy, and connection in each other.

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Our connection goes far beyond the bond of growing up together, sharing clothes, or fighting over the house phone. We have always lived by the rule that while we can say things about each other, no one else better try. Some might say we have to show up for each other, but the truth is that we choose to. That is what makes our relationship so special.

The beauty of sisterhood is that it often extends beyond familial bonds. It can encompass female spiritual kinships, supportive communities, sororities, or even champions within the workplace.

So why invest in sisterhood?

Relationships take effort, and you get to decide where—and with whom—you invest your time and energy. Sisterhood can make a profound difference for you in several keyways:

• Reduces Isolation: Sisterhood provides a safe space to talk things out and offers unconditional acceptance, ensuring you never feel alone in your experiences. There is a shared empathy knowing that someone truly understands your experience or has faced similar challenges. This sense of sisterhood is not intended to take away from your relationships with men, but rather to strengthen and add to the village you are part of.
• Boosts Confidence: Your sisters recognize your strengths and believe in your ability to achieve big things, often before you do. I can remember sitting in a meeting with a team of female colleagues discussing our Strengthsfinder results. I was mystified by one of my top strengths, but my team was not. They affirmed that not only did they see that strength in me, but the team also relied on me to use it.
• Provides Perspective: Sisters provide an invaluable resource for fresh insights, especially when offering viewpoints shaped by different worldviews. Whether you need validation that “you’re not crazy, I see it like that too” or a gentle push to consider another way of looking at a situation, having that external perspective is essential.
• Replenishes Your Power: Sisters serve as essential power boosters, replenishing your energy when you cannot do it yourself. Whether they are offering comfort during difficult times or cheering you on during joyous ones, they help recharge your batteries.

Word of caution: Not everyone has read “The Sisterhood Guidebook.” I often tell my clients that if they want lessons on what not to do, reality television is a great teacher. These programs frequently highlight the primary barriers to building a true sisterhood:

• The “Queen Bee Syndrome”: This occurs when established members undermine newcomers, often rooted in insecurity or a belief that others should struggle as they did. To overcome this, focus on personal growth, build your own network, remain professional, model collaboration, and prioritize your well-being.
• Lack of Action: There is often significant lip service regarding sisterhood without following action. We must be intentional about actively building and maintaining these connections.
• Fear of Vulnerability: The fear of being hurt is a common barrier to deep relationships. By taking the time to establish trust as a foundation, the rest of the connection will follow naturally.

How do you build sisterhood? 

• Be a Connector – one of my friends is a great connector. You can almost see the wheels turning when she meets someone new. She bridges her different circles to bring together people who can be stronger together. Who could you connect today?

• Show Up – the words I hear most often when I ask others about sisterhood are loyalty, forgiveness, compassion, and dependability. Simply being there makes a difference.

What does showing up mean to you and how would you rate your “showingupness”?

• Collaborate, don’t compete – Share knowledge and build on each other’s ideas. I guarantee collaboration will get everyone further than competition. Where do you have opportunities to collaborate?
• Hug it out: Sometimes a simple gesture of physical or emotional support is all that is needed. This could be a physical hug, a message letting someone know how much they mean to you, or an action that conveys that sentiment. What authentic gesture could you use to show support to others?
• Acknowledge and praise: Offer positive reinforcement for both actions and character. When you see someone doing well, share it. Let them know what they did that had a positive impact and how their character makes a difference. Who deserves your praise or acknowledgment right now?
• Call it out: Do not hesitate to share honest, constructive feedback. True sisterhood provides a safe space for growth and accountability. Is there an area where you have been holding back on providing feedback?

• Identify and Offer Mentorship: While all mentorship is valuable, female mentorship is particularly beneficial for navigating challenges such as leading in male-dominated fields, building influence, speaking up, and balancing work and family. I encourage you to share your experiences and advice. What opportunities do you currently have to provide mentorship?
• Advocate for Others: Use your voice to champion colleagues when they are not in the room. This can be as simple as saying, “I believe [Name] should be given that opportunity because…” or “Have you met [Name]? They would be a great fit for your team.” How can you use your platform to be an advocate for others?

Final Thoughts

Please compare me to an elephant. I never thought I’d say that, and it certainly wasn’t my first thought when my sister handed my sisters and me elephant ornaments. She mentioned they reminded her of us, and while we were initially perplexed, our confusion quickly turned to appreciation as she explained her reasoning.

Elephants truly embody sisterhood. They form protective circles around those who are sick, injured, or giving birth. They even kick up dust to mask the scent of a suffering sister from predators and trumpet together to celebrate new life or offer comfort. Furthermore, calves are raised communally by a network of mothers, grandmothers, aunts, and sisters. To me, that sounds exactly like sisterhood.

As you pause periodically to reflect on what truly matters and course-correct where you may be drifting, cherish your sisters and nurture your sisterhoods. As a blog post from author and podcaster Jen Hatmaker states, “When our sisters are vulnerable, when they are giving birth to new life, new ideas, new ministries, new spaces, when they are under attack, when they need their people to surround them so they can create, deliver, heal, recover… we get in formation. We close ranks and literally have each other’s backs. You want to mess with our sis? Come through us first. Good luck.”

Debby Neely is a Professional Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation who specializes in leadership coaching and facilitation. Her business, Neely Coaching & Training, supports both formal and informal leaders in realizing their potential and in getting results. Their mission is to help you be the best you can be.