Some may call it gumption, moxie or guts. I call it grit and when you see it in others, it is truly inspiring. The website, A Fine Parent, defines grit as a distinct combination of passion, resilience, determination, and focus that allows a person to maintain the discipline and optimism to persevere in their goals even in the face of discomfort, rejection, and a lack of visible progress for years, or even decades. Wow.
Every year, I attend a walk that supports research to end childhood cancer. The non-profit that hosts the event is run by my dear friend, Wendy. She created the non-profit after her 16-year-old son passed from leukemia. She and her family have raised money hoping that it might protect others from going through what they have gone through. Wendy struggles through her own grief and pain to fight for a cure. To fight for others. To fight for her son. Wendy has grit. She is the definition of resilience, determination, and unwavering strength. Stay gritty. Keep pushing. And never give up.
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What does grit look like?
University of Pennsylvania psychology professor Angela Duckworth PhD, studied various groups like first year West Point cadets, competitors in the National Spelling Bee, and Green Berets to find out which characteristic they all shared that helped them succeed in high-pressure situations.. She states that these individuals had grit – a combination of passion and perseverance. To clarify, to have grit, you must have both.
Additionally, it takes effort to turn a talent into a skill that brings success. Without grit, talent may be nothing more than unmet potential. Dr Duckworth says that being naturally smart and talented are great, but to truly do well and thrive, we also need the ability to persevere.
Furthermore, grit demands that you take risks. People who have grit are willing to step out of their comfort zones. In fact, they are not afraid of failure as they know it can lead to learning something new or getting them closer to achieving a long-term goal. In short, people with grit do not give up.
Turning Talent Into Success: The Role of Perseverance
Now, let me introduce you to my friend, Alex. When I first met her, she was a single mom who had been hired in a support role in my department. Right from the start, she made it clear that she wanted more. She set a goal, achieved it, and then set a new goal. Along the way, she was always learning, soaking in all she could from people and experiences. She did not shy away from the hard stuff but thrived on the challenge. Even when she didn’t always succeed, she pushed through. For example, Alex earned her bachelor’s degree while working full-time, taking care of her family, and continuously stepping outside of her comfort zone to take on jobs she had never done before to build her career. Today, Alex is now a multi-business owner, wife and mother of two. Clearly, Alex has grit.
How do you get grit?
It is not something that is bestowed upon you. Instead, you must build habits that allow you to keep your focus and build resilience every day.
Embrace failure
I did not grow up in the ‘everyone gets a trophy’ era. For example, When I was younger, I played in a girls’ softball league. My team, the Cobras, lost every game we played one season. Every game. Here is what is interesting, that is a time of my childhood that I vividly remember as being good. My teammates and I loved the game and we took it all in stride. My sister, who was also on the team, and I would loudly cheer “we are #4!” We knew we were putting out maximum effort. More importantly, we continued to support each other. Game after game, we got up to that plate and ran out on that field every game. We were building grit.
Surround yourself with people who persevere
Research shows that you become most like the five people with whom you spend the most time. So, who is that for you and do you need to make some changes? People with grit don’t see problems: they see opportunities for learning. They meet every challenge with enthusiasm and innovative thinking. When I apply what I have learned from my gritty friends, I feel confident and capable.
Take time to reflect
Taking time to reflect allows us to bring awareness to things we have accomplished, identify learning, and determine next steps.
- Think about this, how often do we achieve something, check it off the list, and move on to the next thing? I see this in my coaching clients when I ask them how they celebrated their accomplishment and the common answer is “I didn’t”. However, achieving what we might see as smaller goals, gets us to our bigger purpose. Celebrating them keeps us going.
- On the other hand, maybe your day did not go as planned. Give yourself time to reflect on your day without judgment. What did you learn that can help you going forward?
- Furthermore, discover how you like to reflect – meditation, journaling, taking a walk or talking with a friend or coach. It doesn’t have to look the same for everyone.
Be in a continuous learning mode
Curious about something? Do a little research. Challenge yourself to learn something new every week. For instance, you could watch a TED Talk video, listen to a podcast, or read a book. Additionally, seek out people who inspire you. Have lunch with someone who you admire and trust and ask them questions. Most importantly, put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable.
Work with a coach
A coach can help you learn faster from your successes and failures. They will ask you the tough questions and help you to see situations from different perspectives. In addition, continuous coaching conversations can provide built-in accountability.
Your mind is a suggestion machine
In a blog by James Clear, he suggests to consider every thought as a suggestion, not an order. For example, when you think you’re tired or feel like giving up, remind yourself that another thought exists: you will feel very good once you accomplish this task. All of these are options and you have the power to choose which option you follow.
Consider who you are and who you want to be
As you navigate life, trust your gut. Choose joy. Show up.
We are introduced to grit early. From the book, The Little Engine That Could, we learn the mantra: “I think I can, I think I can. I know I can!” to adulthood when we tell each other to “stay strong”, we are developing grit. Ultimately, grit helps us to remember that the struggle is real……….and so are the blessings.
Debby Neely
Debby Neely is a Professional Certified Coach through the International Coach Federation who specializes in leadership coaching and facilitation. Her business, Neely Coaching & Training, supports both formal and informal leaders in realizing their potential and in getting results. Their mission is to help you be the best you can be.
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