We tend to talk about stress as though it is something that happens in our minds, our busy schedules, complicated relationships, an overflowing inbox, a toxic job. But stress isn’t simply a thought. It is a physiological response. And when our bodies don’t get the opportunity to come back down from that response, the consequences can eventually show up everywhere.
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Understanding Your Nervous System: What It Means to Feel Safe, Calm, and Balanced
To help us better understand how our bodies respond and react to stress I sat down with Faviana Campbell, founder of Pure Ritam to help us navigate through what we don’t understand.
To start, what do people mean when they talk about “regulating the nervous system”?
We’re talking about helping the body move out of a heightened stress state, what most people know as fight-or-flight, and into a state where it feels safe enough to rest, digest, and repair. That shift isn’t a mindset. It happens in the body.” Campbell explains. “Our nervous systems are shaped by genetics, epigenetics, environment, and lived experience, which is why surface-level fixes rarely hold for long. We have to release stress and trauma at the root in a way that’s simple, gentle, and non-traumatizing such as meditation.
Can you explain how the nervous system influences our emotions, thoughts, and physical responses to stress?
Our nervous system is primarily concerned with our physical and psychological safety. So it’s always asking the question “am I safe?” Neuroscience shows that the brain is constantly predicting what the body will need and budgets resources accordingly. Safety begins in the body, not the mind. We experience the world through our bodies first, which means our physiology shifts before our thoughts catch up and hand us a story about why we feel the way we do.
When the body decides it isn’t safe, it reallocates. Energy goes toward protection and away from digestion, repair, immunity, and long-term thinking. Prolonged exposure to the stressor changes us. Our emotional regulation gets weaker, our creativity narrows, and our attention and memory shorten.
The physical cost is significant and often brushed over. Nearly 80% of people living with autoimmune disease are women. Researcher Arline Geronimus coined the term weathering to describe the accelerated biological wear she documented in people managing chronic stress and discrimination. Rates of anxiety and depression run higher in women too. None of this is fragility. It’s a body that has been doing protective work for a very long time without relief.
How does our brain communicate with the rest of the body during times of stress or relaxation?
Our brain and body are in constant two-way communication, yet most people assume the brain is doing all the talking. The vagus nerve, the main highway between the brain and our organs, carries more traffic upward from the body to the brain than downward. Our bodies are constantly sending reports upward, and the brain reads them and decides what state to put us in. This is why we can’t think our way into calm.
When our bodies feel safe because the threat is over, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) becomes more active to support our healing, digestion, immune function, and recovery. Depending on the situation, our bodies release feel good hormones like serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, GABA, and melatonin.
The beauty is that we can feel it happening. Our shoulders relax, our breathing slows down and depends on its own, our stomach gurgles, which is genuinely a good sign. Things start to seem a little funnier. You can listen to someone all the way through without composing your reply while they’re still talking. This is our bodies telling us we’re safe.
Why do so many people report feeling constantly “wired but tired”?
The “wired but tired” feeling is what happens when our nervous system hasn’t received the message that the threat has passed. The stress hormones keeping us alert are doing their job, which is getting us ready for the danger our bodies believes is coming. This is why we’re so exhausted.
It shows up in a few different ways. Some of us are wrecked all day and then wide awake at 11pm with a racing mind. Some of us fall asleep easily and snap awake at 3am. Others sleep a full eight hours every night and still wake up feeling hit by a bus, which is the most confusing version, because on paper we’re doing all the right things.
The answer to “wired but tired” isn’t simply more sleep. What actually works is giving the body real rest during the day so it isn’t trying to do all of its recovery during the night.
How long does it typically take for healthy lifestyle changes to make a noticeable difference?
It varies, and I’d be suspicious of anyone who hands you a number. Our genetics, environments, histories, and current loads are all different.
Instead of metrics, I’d rather offer a different measurement approach. I encourage you to measure change by how you feel in your body, and by whether you’re responding to your life versus reacting to it.
The early signs are usually small and easy to miss. You don’t spiral after a difficult meeting. You fall asleep without narrating the whole day back to yourself. Someone’s tone doesn’t ruin your afternoon. You laugh more easily.
That’s the honest timeline. Some things shift in weeks. Some things took decades to build and will take longer than that to unwind. The work is worth doing either way.
Here are some things that I personally used to help my body release trauma and reset my mind.
The Sunday Club. These are my favorite morning coffee breaks. After getting myself ready, taking care of the babies, and planning my day. I take about an hour to do these “Sunday newspapers” inspired games such as crosswords, SUDUKO, search & find, and more.
I am grateful that I do get a full night’s sleep thanks to Fantastic Fungi Chill Elixir and Nowful Magnesium Cream, I rub this amazing cream all over my legs and soles, and of course my mattress and weighted eyemask both from Saatva.
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Small Rituals, Big Resets
Ultimately, supporting your nervous system doesn’t have to mean completely overhauling your life. Sometimes, it’s about making space for the little things that help you slow down, feel grounded and reconnect with yourself. Whether that’s a quiet morning with a coffee and a crossword, a calming bedtime ritual, or simply giving yourself permission to rest, small habits can become meaningful parts of your day.
Ashley-Victoria Smith
Serial entrepreneur, celebrity publicist, published author, swimwear designer, and creative director. Currently resides in the Queen City with her two rescue fur babies indulging in coffee, a good book, and Marvel movies.
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